The S Word
And it's not what you think!
A few months back at our monthly Girls Night Out, one of my girlfriends kicked off the conversation asking each of us to share 3 things that we are really loving right now. I was the first to go so didn't have long to think but they came pretty easily...
1. Being outside in the beautiful Fall weather
2. Sisterhood
3. Coffee from local coffee shops
It's that word nestled right there in the middle of my three things that I'm thinking about today; Sisterhood.
Yep, that's my S-word. Sisterhood, girl time, mother culture, Ladies Night, whatever you want to call it- it has quickly climbed its way up on my value and priority totem pole. But I want to do a little bit more today than just encourage you to have some girlfriends. I want to encourage you in the hard parts of sisterhood.
When you hear that word, some of you may already have your next 4 girls nights planned, can hear your friends group-text dinging on the counter, or you just feel filled up with all that girlfriend love. Awesome!
Others of you, perhaps many of you, may feel a longing for connection you see in others, or maybe you're suffering from betrayal, or perhaps just completely isolated. If the latter is part of your story or experience, I'm sorry, so very sorry. It's incredibly devastating to feel the sting of deception or the hopelessness of solitude. But can I encourage you in love today? Please don't stay there. There is so much more that is possible.
Here's the deal, the longer I'm in this life gig (and let's be honest, I'm in my 30's its not that long...but still...) , the more value and priority I place on my girlfriends. Growing up, I was definitely a friend-hopper. I don't think that's a real term but I'm coining it today. I would jump from group to group, person to person, depending on who I felt like being or who might accept me that given day. The friendships had no opportunity to grow deep. Although we could totally discuss which Montell Jordan song was our favorite....or 2pac, or Sublime, or Amy Grant. Like I said, I jumped around.
But that was the extent of it. And boooy do us women need each other in a much more significant way other than chatting pop-culture. We need each others support, love, encouragement, shoulders, suggestions, and honesty.
When I first started jotting down my thoughts on this, I approached it kind of romantically. I acknowledged the beauty of friendship and the challenges too but it was still a bit too fluffy from reality for me.
To me, my friendships are extraordinarily beautiful. I am on a high after I spend some good quality time with a girlfriend. But this is not how life rides out all the time. When we're truly friends and life gets muddy as it usually does, things can get blurry. There are misunderstandings, disappointments, jealousy, comparison. And truthfully, that stuff is natural. We are imperfect people. It would take more than my fingers and toes to count how many times I've been jealous, disappointed, let down, or maybe even bitter with someone over the last few months. It's our natural response. But what are we going to do with that? Are we going to wallow in our bitterness? Are we going to act out on our jealousy? Or are we going to choose to rise up and forgive the person who loves us but is not perfect and has offended us? Are we going to be happy for the friend who just got the shopping spree when its been 2 years since we've bought a new piece of clothing. Hear this: we are not our worst moments.
Friends, CHOOSE the encouragement. Don't take the easy path of gossip. CHOOSE to love when everything in you is holding on to anger. CHOOSE to celebrate your sisters victory while you're still trying to get across your own finish line.
May I put out the call and you reverberate it back to me to be women who are truly representing Sisterhood? Urban Dictionary defines sisterhood as this: A bond between two or more girls, not always related by blood. They always tell the truth, honor each other, and love each other like sisters.
That last part gets me... lets seek to be truth-tellers, honoring, and loving sisters. Yes, its going to be way easier to say it than do it. I can guarantee it. But the true gift of friendship in return is priceless. It is beautiful. It is the stuff of Jen Hatmaker books and Hallmark movies.
Now go call your girlfriend, go out for coffee, and let her know she's got something in her teeth!
A few months back at our monthly Girls Night Out, one of my girlfriends kicked off the conversation asking each of us to share 3 things that we are really loving right now. I was the first to go so didn't have long to think but they came pretty easily...
1. Being outside in the beautiful Fall weather
2. Sisterhood
3. Coffee from local coffee shops
It's that word nestled right there in the middle of my three things that I'm thinking about today; Sisterhood.
Yep, that's my S-word. Sisterhood, girl time, mother culture, Ladies Night, whatever you want to call it- it has quickly climbed its way up on my value and priority totem pole. But I want to do a little bit more today than just encourage you to have some girlfriends. I want to encourage you in the hard parts of sisterhood.
When you hear that word, some of you may already have your next 4 girls nights planned, can hear your friends group-text dinging on the counter, or you just feel filled up with all that girlfriend love. Awesome!
Others of you, perhaps many of you, may feel a longing for connection you see in others, or maybe you're suffering from betrayal, or perhaps just completely isolated. If the latter is part of your story or experience, I'm sorry, so very sorry. It's incredibly devastating to feel the sting of deception or the hopelessness of solitude. But can I encourage you in love today? Please don't stay there. There is so much more that is possible.
Here's the deal, the longer I'm in this life gig (and let's be honest, I'm in my 30's its not that long...but still...) , the more value and priority I place on my girlfriends. Growing up, I was definitely a friend-hopper. I don't think that's a real term but I'm coining it today. I would jump from group to group, person to person, depending on who I felt like being or who might accept me that given day. The friendships had no opportunity to grow deep. Although we could totally discuss which Montell Jordan song was our favorite....or 2pac, or Sublime, or Amy Grant. Like I said, I jumped around.
But that was the extent of it. And boooy do us women need each other in a much more significant way other than chatting pop-culture. We need each others support, love, encouragement, shoulders, suggestions, and honesty.
When I first started jotting down my thoughts on this, I approached it kind of romantically. I acknowledged the beauty of friendship and the challenges too but it was still a bit too fluffy from reality for me.
To me, my friendships are extraordinarily beautiful. I am on a high after I spend some good quality time with a girlfriend. But this is not how life rides out all the time. When we're truly friends and life gets muddy as it usually does, things can get blurry. There are misunderstandings, disappointments, jealousy, comparison. And truthfully, that stuff is natural. We are imperfect people. It would take more than my fingers and toes to count how many times I've been jealous, disappointed, let down, or maybe even bitter with someone over the last few months. It's our natural response. But what are we going to do with that? Are we going to wallow in our bitterness? Are we going to act out on our jealousy? Or are we going to choose to rise up and forgive the person who loves us but is not perfect and has offended us? Are we going to be happy for the friend who just got the shopping spree when its been 2 years since we've bought a new piece of clothing. Hear this: we are not our worst moments.
Friends, CHOOSE the encouragement. Don't take the easy path of gossip. CHOOSE to love when everything in you is holding on to anger. CHOOSE to celebrate your sisters victory while you're still trying to get across your own finish line.
May I put out the call and you reverberate it back to me to be women who are truly representing Sisterhood? Urban Dictionary defines sisterhood as this: A bond between two or more girls, not always related by blood. They always tell the truth, honor each other, and love each other like sisters.
That last part gets me... lets seek to be truth-tellers, honoring, and loving sisters. Yes, its going to be way easier to say it than do it. I can guarantee it. But the true gift of friendship in return is priceless. It is beautiful. It is the stuff of Jen Hatmaker books and Hallmark movies.
Now go call your girlfriend, go out for coffee, and let her know she's got something in her teeth!
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